Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Final Chapter

My year long maternity leave is close to ending. I return to work in less than a month.  I have spent more time on maternity leave over the past 2 1/2 years than I have spent at work. Admittedly I am a little bit (or a lot, depending on the day) stressed and overwhelmed with the ginormous change that is about to take place in my life, in my family's lives. Obvious things like getting kids ready to be somewhere every morning at 7am.  Not being home during the day. Not having the "freedom" that I have now.  My kids adjusting to not being with me all day.  ME adjusting to not being with my kids.  Organizing the cooking and cleaning and maintenance in my home that I do now during the day. 

But there's also other stuff. 

Like, the realization that I'm now entering the real world and the rest of my life. No more babies.  No more maternity leave. This chapter of my life is coming to a close and will never happen again. I hope I've made the best of it.  I hope I can look back on it with fond memories and be proud of myself and how I spent these first years with my babies.

It's also made me think a lot about this blog.  I find myself writing here less and less.  Often I struggle with what to write in this space and how often.  Lately, more often than not I've used it as a place to bitch about my inlaws or my husband - boo!  I have found this blog to be a wonderful place to get support and help and suggestions from some of the smartest women in the world (you guys!). I would be sad to let it go. But... I think that's where I'm headed.  Mixed feelings about that.  I have been a part of the IF community for many, many years.  I think I've been holding on to this blog to continue to hold on to that part of me but maybe it's time to release it all. 

I will not be totally gone, however. I do have another blog that I have been writing for years and years (long before the IF years). And I will continue to write there.  I have always been open on that blog about my IF, however I have left out some of the nitty gritty details and many of the deeply personal struggles.  Obviously I've also omitted the private matters with my ILs and battles with my husband (only because they read it). Lately I have found myself to be more and more open and honest and "naked" when writing on that blog, regardless of the fact that so many people I know IRL (including family) read it and that can be a bit scary sometimes.

I invite you all to join me at  Tarable and to comment your little hearts out, no holds barred.

I also plan on still keeping tabs on all of you.  I will continue to read and comment, however I will be ever so cleverly disguised as "Tarable" instead of Tara.

Feels strange to be moving on.  It's good though.  Change is good.  Moving forward is good.

Moving forward.

11 comments:

JJ said...

This makes me a little teary--because I have been blogging with you for what seems like forever--those early days when it was soooo hard. Wow...memories.

But you better KEEP blogging at Tarable, because I would miss you WAY too much. xoxo

Kristin said...

Hello! I know you don't know me, but we've got something in common. I got your blog address off the Stirrup Queen's blogroll and was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping me help a couple who is trying to add a little one to their family. We're holding a silent auction for them this weekend (Friday and Saturday) on goteamwitt.blogspot.com and need help getting the word out! We would love it if you would spread the word via social media or here on your blog. Additionally, we are always looking for more donations to auction off, so if you or someone you know might be interested in making a donation, all the information is under the donate tab. If you have any questions or would be willing to post a pre-written blog post about the auction and the sponsored couple, please contact Kristin at goteamwitt@gmail.com Thanks in advance for taking the time to consider this!

Anonymous said...

We are a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community.

Your web site provided us with useful information to work on.

You have performed a formidable process and our whole
community will probably be grateful to you.

My webpage quit smoking help

Anonymous said...

We are a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community.
Your web site provided us with useful information to work on.
You have performed a formidable process and our whole community will probably be grateful to
you.

Also visit my web site quit smoking help
My web site - tips to quit smoking

Anonymous said...

Quality posts is the important to interest the people to visit the site, that's what this site is providing.

Also visit my web blog :: pointclick windows comparison shopping method

Anonymous said...

Outstanding quest theгe. What ocсurred аfteг?
Τake care!

Also visіt my blοg - car transport simulator 2013 free download

Anonymous said...

I'm really loving the theme/design of your website. Do you ever run into any web browser compatibility problems? A number of my blog audience have complained about my blog not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Chrome. Do you have any ideas to help fix this issue?

my web blog; car transport boston to miami

Anonymous said...

Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your web site and in
accession capital to assert that I get in fact enjoyed account your blog posts.
Anyway I'll be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you access consistently quickly.

Here is my web page; yardworks

Anonymous said...

Appreciating the dedication you put into your blog and detailed information you provide.
It's great to come across a blog every once in a while that isn't the same unwanted
rehashed material. Fantastic read! I've saved your site and I'm including your RSS
feeds to my Google account.

Feel free to visit my blog post balances

Mommy Someday said...

Can I please be added to your private blog at "tarable"? I have been following you for years and would like to continue to do so... I have been moving over the last month and didn't know you had cone private until today. Hope all is well with you and that your big change is going smoothly :-).

Mommy Someday said...

Oops... My google/blogger username is res8msmith @ gmail dot com. ~mommysomeday